Taking care of a sick or aging family member can be exhausting, especially when chronic conditions can last months or years. As much as you love that person, providing care can be a full-time job that requires time, money, and labor鈥攁ll while experiencing the emotional struggle of your loved one being unwell.
If you feel overwhelmed, you鈥檙e not alone. While you鈥檙e taking care of another, your needs still matter too. But there are ways to be a caregiver and still care for yourself. Connecting with others and getting support can relieve some of the pressure.
researches family caregivers鈥 experiences to find out what caregivers need and how to help. Here鈥檚 what she鈥檚 learned:
Social isolation is common
Taking care of a loved one takes time, which can make it tough to find opportunities to connect with friends. Moving in to care for family can make it even more challenging to build a social network. For people living in rural areas and for caregivers in their 20s through 40s, feelings of loneliness or social isolation are especially common, Warner has found.
鈥淎 normal part of development in this age range is social connection, finding one's place in the world, and becoming your own person, separate from your childhood home and values,鈥 Warner says. 鈥淭hat social development is so impacted when a young adult has to鈥攐r chooses to鈥攕et aside those aspirations and opportunities to care for someone else.鈥
Tech can help connect
Finding ways to talk with others in the same boat can help reduce feelings of isolation and provide valuable emotional support, Warner says. Video calls can provide meaningful connection if physical distance or lack of time make it hard to speak in person.
鈥淥ne of the most important and valued experiences of the caregivers I've spoken with is their ability to connect with other people who get it,鈥 Warner says. 鈥淰ideoconferencing bridges the divide. We鈥檙e able to have these kinds of conversations in a way that 10 or 20 years ago, we wouldn鈥檛 have even thought of.鈥
Social media has its benefits
Social media can also be Warner discovered. Many caregivers she鈥檚 talked to 鈥渨ere blown away by how many people come out of the woodwork to support them, because they were willing to share about their experience online,鈥 she says.
Social media use does have its risks, though. Warner鈥檚 research has found that caregivers often contend with misinformation and uncomfortable or insincere responses, such as responses that minimize caregivers鈥 experiences. Warner recommends that you carefully consider health information you find online鈥攁nd ask your doctor about info you鈥檙e unsure of.
But on the whole, Warner says, social media can be a valuable tool to connect with others who are facing similar circumstances. Using social media to create private groups with trusted allies can help you communicate your needs to the people who care about you. 鈥淚t helps caregivers feel seen,鈥 Warner adds. 鈥淎nd it helps them to know that they're not alone in their caregiving experience.鈥
Find ways to communicate your needs
Warner adds that, for caregivers, it鈥檚 crucial to find a way to talk with friends and family about challenges. 鈥淧eople can鈥檛 help if they don鈥檛 know you鈥檙e struggling,鈥 she says. 鈥淚t鈥檚 hard to do that, though. It鈥檚 really hard to say, 鈥業鈥檓 struggling, and I need help.鈥欌
Again, technology can help make communication a little easier. to help 鈥攆rom gas money to food delivery to someone to watch the kids for a few hours鈥攁nd share that list with trusted friends so that peoples鈥 support networks can do the most good.
鈥淗aving small, concrete things that others can help with can be really good,鈥 Warner says. She adds that support networks are often more willing to chip in than you might expect鈥攁nd if they know how they can best support patients and caregivers, they will. 鈥淧eople want to help."