Read Time: 5 minutes
Author: Brinlee Luster, marketing and communications specialist, Huntsman Cancer Institute's Communications Team
Now that cancer has been a part of my life for nearly two years, I can look back and see the ways I鈥檝e changed as a person鈥攈ow the disease I would never willingly allow into my life has changed me.
When I look in the mirror, I see my hair, thinner than it has ever been, with patches of baldness. My skin, marked by scars from surgeries and a chemo rash. My body, skinny from weight loss. I would be lying if I said these physical changes haven鈥檛 made me self-conscious and saddened at times about the loss of what I used to look like. It has taken me a while to see the real change鈥攖he change from within. The perspective I鈥檝e gained that every moment is a gift. The empathy I鈥檝e gained for people who are sick. The gratitude I鈥檝e gained for health, freedom, and living.
Facing cancer can bring changes to your physical body, mental health, and daily life. I want to share some of the ways I鈥檝e learned to adapt with these changes鈥攂y redefining my self-image and discovering new sources of purpose.
Mourning Physical Changes and Redefining My Self-Image
As a girl in my young twenties, I feel the effects of cancer on my confidence. With time, I鈥檝e realized that true confidence doesn鈥檛 come from how I look in the mirror, it comes from recognizing my worth鈥攏ot because of what I look like, but because of the person I鈥檓 becoming.
I remember one particular Uber ride to a surgeon鈥檚 appointment when the driver said to me, 鈥淏eauty comes from within.鈥 I love that mantra and often repeat it to myself on hard days. And yet, I know how difficult it can be to truly believe it when your hair, your skin, your body鈥攁ll the familiar parts of you鈥攕tart to look different. There are days when all I see are the things I鈥檝e lost.
Mourning what you鈥檝e lost is okay. It's okay to shed tears for what鈥檚 changed. Let yourself feel that sadness鈥攊t鈥檚 part of the healing. In time, I鈥檝e begun to see my scars in a new way. They are a part of my story, marks of the person I am becoming in the face of this trial. They tell a story of strength and resilience.
Finding Strength in Simple Activities and Small Moments
There鈥檚 something powerful about getting ready for the day, even if it鈥檚 just a small effort. Staying in pajamas is absolutely okay (and sometimes necessary). But times when I make an effort鈥攑utting on a cute outfit, applying some makeup鈥擨 feel more human, more capable, and ready to take on the day.
Before cancer, I was always moving and wanting to be outside. Being active has always been a core part of who I am. But during treatment, when my energy levels and strength aren鈥檛 what they once were, I鈥檝e had to adapt. Sometimes that鈥檚 hard. There鈥檚 a part of me that misses the stamina I had to go on a long hike or bike ride. But I鈥檝e discovered the joy of simple walks. I step outside and take it one step at a time. Walking has become a way of reconnecting with myself and the world around me.
Holding on to Purpose in New Ways
Another key to confidence is recognizing your purpose鈥攚hy you鈥檙e here and what your story means. For me, it鈥檚 knowing that my story might help someone else feel less alone in their own journey. Confidence is connected to understanding that your life has meaning beyond what鈥檚 happening on the surface, and that purpose is what carries you through.
How do you find purpose and fulfillment in a life that changes from the way you thought it would look like? I鈥檓 learning that each small step forward is a way of saying, 鈥淚 choose to live today.鈥
There are days when it鈥檚 hard not to feel FOMO鈥攆ear of missing out鈥攐n life. It sometimes feels like everyone around me is moving forward, chasing dreams, and living with a freedom I used to take for granted.
The fear of missing out is real. But I鈥檝e also learned that dwelling too much on what I feel I鈥檓 missing can steal the joy of the present. This season of life may look different than I ever imagined. But different doesn鈥檛 have to be less meaningful. Here are some tips that I鈥檝e found that have helped me gain purpose:
Find ways to serve
Purpose often comes when we stop focusing inward and look outward. Service has been one of the most healing parts of my journey. It doesn鈥檛 have to be big鈥攕ometimes it鈥檚 as simple as sending a thoughtful text, listening to someone who鈥檚 struggling, or sharing your story to help others feel less alone.
Keep a daily gratitude journal
Writing down small blessings each day can help you shift your focus to the positive and what matters to you in your life.
Surround yourself with uplifting people
Seek out friends, mentors, and loved ones who inspire and support you.
Set small, achievable goals
Purpose grows when you have something to work toward, even if it鈥檚 as simple as finishing a good book or learning a new skill.
Celebrate progress
Acknowledge how far you鈥檝e come, even if the steps feel small.
Embracing My Unique Story
If you鈥檙e reading this and facing your own battles, know this: You are more than your struggles. You are not defined by cancer. You are strong, even when you feel weak. You are valuable, even on the hardest days.
Let yourself mourn what鈥檚 been lost, but don鈥檛 forget to celebrate what remains. Take small steps, hold onto hope, and remember that your story鈥攏o matter how messy or unexpected鈥攊s uniquely yours. It鈥檚 worth living, sharing, and embracing every moment along the way. Together, we can find purpose, redefine self, and discover meaning in the lives we鈥檙e living鈥攐ne step, one breath, and one day at a time.