It鈥檚 the "most wonderful time of the year," but for many, stress and the holidays are as entwined as mistletoe and holly. Seasonal festivities can be particularly challenging for those grappling with significant life changes, such as the loss of a loved one or a difficult breakup.
So, if you're dreading that big family dinner or tree-decorating party, know that you're not alone. Many people are feeling the bittersweet sting of loss and brought on by these once-joyous traditions.
鈥淚f you're going through some big changes, holiday traditions can bring up a lot of sadness, despair, frustration, and exhaustion,鈥 says Kristin Francis, MD, assistant professor of psychiatry at 91麻豆天美直播鈥檚 Huntsman Mental Health Institute. 鈥淭rying something new can alleviate that stress and bring delight back into the holidays.鈥
Think Outside the Box
There鈥檚 no rule that says you must stick to the same holiday traditions year after year鈥攅specially if they bring you pain. Here are some ways to make this holiday season work for you:
- Switch up the Menu. Instead of the traditional turkey, prepare a loved one鈥檚 favorite dish to cherish their memory, or choose a recipe that brings you comfort. Simplify things by ordering sushi for a holiday dinner if that鈥檚 what would bring you and your family joy.
- Pace Yourself. It鈥檚 okay to adjust expectations. Show yourself the same compassion you鈥檇 show a close friend. Ask for help with shopping or gift wrapping.
- Simplify Gift-Giving. Save money and avoid the malls. Make gift decisions that work for you, and consider your budget, bandwidth, and values. Instead of buying, wrapping, and mailing all your gifts, you might opt to schedule a coffee date or a walk with a loved one, or plan a video call with an out-of-state friend.
- Get Outside. Replace classic movie night with a trip to the ice-skating rink or a stroll through the neighborhood. Or change your scenery altogether and take a trip to the desert to experience the warmth of the sun with new sights and sounds.
- Give Back. Experience the joy of giving by volunteering for a good cause or clean out a closet and donate unused items to a local shelter.
- Try Something New. If the same old traditions feel off, create a new tradition. Try crafting a cranberry and popcorn garland for an outdoor tree, or hide a on your tree before inviting little ones to search for it.
Press 鈥淧ause鈥 On Parties
Before you send in your RSVP to that ugly sweater party, take a moment to check in with yourself. If putting on a brave face and socializing feels too daunting, it鈥檚 perfectly OK to stay home.
鈥淛ust as someone recovering from pneumonia wouldn't be expected to run a 5K immediately, those healing from mental health conditions also need to take things slow,鈥 Francis says.
鈥淚t's important to pace yourself and allow time for recovery. You have the right to protect yourself, so if you're not up for social events, it鈥檚 perfectly okay to decline the invitation.鈥
If you're unable to break holiday party plans, prepare yourself with these self-care tips:
- Set a Timer: If you're not feeling up to it but still need to make an appearance, designate a small window of time and then leave. You can always stay longer if you鈥檙e enjoying yourself.
- Use the Buddy System: Bring a trusted friend who can help you gracefully exit uncomfortable conversations and be there for support.
- Honor Your Boundaries: It鈥檚 okay to set emotional boundaries if you鈥檙e not comfortable talking about certain things. Simply thank an inquiring friend for their concern, for understanding that what you鈥檙e going though is hard, and that you鈥檙e just not ready to talk about it.
- Pass on the Punch Bowl: Limiting alcohol consumption will improve your mood and reduce the likelihood of next-day anxiety. Instead, opt for a festive mocktail or a sparkling water.
Hydrate, Sleep, and Be Gentle with Yourself
The holidays鈥攁nd all the nostalgic memories they bring鈥攃an take a toll on us during difficult times. Please remember to check in on yourself, draw some boundaries, and take care of your most basic needs.
鈥淚 think people undervalue how much sleep and hydration impacts their overall well-being,鈥 Francis says. 鈥淪leep is important because it allows our bodies to rejuvenate and rest, and water consumption impacts our energy.鈥
If the holiday blues are worsening, who can help. If you have a primary care provider, schedule an appointment to talk about your situation. You also can seek help from a crisis line like 988, which provides free and confidential emotional support to people in suicidal crisis or emotional distress 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
