Episode Transcript
Interviewer: Four thousand women die each year from domestic violence and about 75% of those deaths occur when the victim finally decides to leave the relationship. Why is domestic violence happening in the first place? We're talking about that next on The Scope.
Announcer: Medical news and research from University Utah physicians and specialists you can use for a happier and healthier life. You're listening to The Scope.
Interviewer: We're here today with Wendy James, social worker at the University Utah and the topic is domestic violence. Why does this even happen? We know it's bad. It's a terrible thing but yet it still happens and it happens often. Why?
Wendy: Unfortunately a lot of the time it's a learned pattern that it is witnessed...
Interviewer: From the abuser?
Wendy: From the abuser. Well and it can be from the abused, the victim as well that's why she stays but we'll... but poor self image. They don't feel good about themselves so they bully and take it out on the underdog. A stereotype view of women that wives should be submissive and that it's okay to beat them into submission. Poor childhood experiences, like I said they came from violent homes. Fear of change, when a woman is pregnant she's more vulnerable to abuse and that tends to be when the abuse may occur.
Interviewer: When she's pregnant? Really?
Wendy: Oftentimes men are challenged by having another child either jealousy or they're concerned about financial responsibility, emotional responsibility, so it's a challenge for them. Sometimes lack of communication between the two. Women can be more passive and a man doesn't have the words perhaps to say how he feels or is frustration or anger and it comes out physically. Economic pressures for sure. Loss of jobs. Yeah, not adequate jobs provide for the family and their beliefs that they want to be good providers.
Interviewer: We just went through some of the trigger points for men as to why and I know you say that, not all the time but most of the time are the abuser. That they're included and they're involved in this terrible pattern. What about the women? Are they doing anything that might put them at harm for this?
Wendy: Unless they're really into a pattern of abuse there's a cycle of abuse where a woman gets abused and beat up and then the husband feels guilty and shameful, brings flowers, whatever. Then the tension builds and the abuse happens again. Often times it's if there's an event coming up or a woman wants to get this over with that she will actually do some things to irritate and aggravate the other person so that the abuse will occur.
Interviewer: So taking it back a step then let's assume that the woman is not provoking domestic violence here.
Wendy: Exactly.
Interviewer: Are there some things though that she might be doing that she doesn't know is provoking?
Wendy: I don't think, you know what, overall no. I do not believe. It's not just me. Research indicates as well that it's not that these men are provoked by anything that she does. She is not at fault for this. There's reasons she stays.
Interviewer: So in the final end of this women still stay regardless of how painful and bad for them and their kids. They're still staying in these harmful relationships. Why?
Wendy: A lot of them fear that if they leave that their husband will take the children and they'll be without their children. They feel fear and shame themselves. A failure of a broken marriage. They have low self esteem so they don't know if they can survive without their partner. They have hope that their partner will change and it doesn't happen. Financially often times they're very dependent on the man and there's family pressure that the children need a father and they disapprove of divorce. There's societal pressure. Oftentimes people will blame the victim for provoking it and that's just not true. I know I said something earlier about that and that happens rarely that...
Interviewer: The provoking?
Wendy: ...but it does happen. The provoking. Yeah, and they want to be able to just... the people will tell them just to forgive and forget about this. People who don't understand and aren't educated about domestic violence.
Interviewer: So it all comes full circle. In order to end domestic violence both sides, especially the woman need to be educated and know that it's not their fault.
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